A Week to Make Things Stronger

This week is the official kick off week of my summer. Class is finished, grades are submitted, and Brynn is at sleep away camp for seven whole days. This calls for a char grilled burger and some smores, stat.

Camp always seems to be a time of mixed emotions for both Brynn and I. She was only 8 years old the first year she went, and she clung onto me for dear life when I tried to leave her in the cabin with the other 8 and 9 year old campers. We were both nervous about what that week might hold in store (and I only let her go because a friend was one of the adult leaders). That year she came home and couldn't stop talking about her new friends and the adventures they'd had. There was planning to be done for next year's talent show, and what dress was she going to wear to the dance the next summer?! Camp was a success.

                     (Brynn at camp her first year, helping to demonstrate natural selection)

This year when I walked Brynn back to the same cabin with some of the same girls she gave me a kiss, then a reluctant hug, then she looked around the cabin at the other campers whose parents had already left. She jumped back out of the hug, spun me around, and shoved me out the door! No more clinging onto my waist and begging me not to go. I know she'll miss me a little, she did want me to write her letters while she's at camp, but she was also ready to spread her wings and enjoy the autonomy of a week away from parental authority.

Now here's my big admission...I was so very ready for her to spend this week away too. Sure, I miss her like crazy and we'll spend her first few days back catching up and sharing stories, but sometimes you just need a little space. I think this is especially true for single parent households, where all the discipline and "bossing around" comes from a single person. I'm always the one who says "scoop the litter," "do your homework," "pick up your room," and "no." Don't get me wrong, I know I'm extremely lucky to also be the person who always gets to say "sweet dreams" and "I love you," but that comes with its costs. Costs that I'm more than willing to pay, but that take a toll on our relationship.

Sleep away camp gives both of us time to remember that we miss each other. Once when I was younger I saw a beer coozie that said "How can I miss you if you won't go away?" Kitschy, yes; but with an air of truth. Weekends at a grandparent's house, short trips with friends, even a single night sleepover, all give us time to recharge and focus on the really great things we sometimes take for granted about each other. Still, I'm glad it's only a week.