Friday, August 19, 2011

Confessions of a Rotten Chef; My Pot Roast is the Pits

Tonight I did everything right. I set aside plenty or time. I bought fresh veggies. I followed the recipe like I was a first year chemistry grad student in the laboratory. Still...failure.

For years now I've attempted to make the perfect pot roast. I'd have even settled for a very good pot roast. Most of my attempts have been edible, perhaps even "okay," but never delectable.

Pot roast is one of my very favorite foods. It's a dish that's even able to make carrots taste fantastic. The perfect comfort food. Unfortunately, it always turns out a little less than comforting when I make it. This failure is all the more poignant in the face of how simple pot roast is supposed to be. Tonight, after my latest less-than-melt-in-your-mouth roast, I called a friend who suggested I just needed to put the roast in water with a little bit of salt, pepper, and oil. How can I be screwing this up?!?

Tonight, I started with a 2.5 lb chuck roast. I braised it, put it in water with lipton onion soup and red wine, added minced garlic. I waited until just an hour before presentation and added potatoes and carrots. Aromatically it was 110% success. It looked juicy and mouth-watering. I could barely wait to taste it! Ultimately though, it was bland and sort of rubbery. I'd been worried that the onion soup mix and the garlic might be too flavorful, how could this roast be bland?!?

 The real stars of tonight's show. It was better in the glasses than in the roast.

I wish I had answers, but it turns out I really am a struggling cook. I'm hoping my kitchen-savvy friends will be able to set me on the right path. I beg of you, please save my next dinner party (my apologies to my friends who've been subjected to multiple failed pot roast attempts). Short of buying a crock-pot or smuggling in a roast cooked by a friend, what's the secret?

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