A Simple Hug

Tweens are, biologically and emotionally, a hot mess. As someone who was once a tween (and then a teen) I can recognize the misery of being entirely overtaken by hormones, but not understanding what that overwhelming feeling is. Unfortunately for me, Brynn almost always channels those feelings into outbursts of anger directed at me.

Seriously. Two days ago she was furious at me because 7x8 did not equal 58.

The majority of our time together is spent in a delicate dance of managing or evading rampaging hormones. Without fail there's a minimum of one rage filled outburst every day, sometimes many more. Frequently it's a string of things, as if once she begins acting out she just can't reign it back in.

Years ago I read an article explaining that a child who could keep it together at school, but started unravelling at home, was actually rather well adjusted. So at least Brynn knows not to berate her teacher when the multiplication tables don't meet her creative mathematical interpretations. Still, it wears away at both of us at home.

All of this is to set the scene for Brynn walking silently into my bedroom two nights ago, walking up behind me, wrapping her arms around me, and laying her head on my back. No one said anything for a couple minutes. We just stood there with each other. Exhausted.

Eventually I turned around and wrapped my arms around her too. Not too soon. I didn't want to ruin that hug. It was spontaneous, honest, and increasingly rare. I couldn't risk ending it. But when I turned around Brynn didn't go anywhere. She just leaned on my chest and we rocked back and forth for a minute. All the stress and tension just melted away.

Then I tickled her and we fell onto the bed, laughing wildly.

In all, the scene lasted maybe 5 minutes. It made my whole night, maybe my week.

That hug will have to keep me going through the resistance to chores, demands to abandon our dog, Ke$ha, indignant complaints about having a bedtime, makeup, pleas for everything from a bigger room to strapless bras, the dreaded homework hurricane, and so much more. It will though.

The tween emotional roller coaster takes its toll on everyone who's drug along its ups and downs. But there are ups. I cherish those. The downs are intense and hurtful, but when you love each other you get each other through. Sometimes with a hug.